The Symbol of Santa

 Season’s Greetings!

Your beard is nearly 2 months old now;  tell me, how is it enjoying its first holiday season?? Does it enjoy bathing in mulled wine, hot toddies, and eggnog?  Relish this time of year, because your beard is truly in its element right now.  Every time you slip a sweater over your head, think of your beard gleefully bouncing out of the collar with that flick of your chin.  And speaking of sweaters – have you noticed how those knitted monstrosities that always made you look either 12 years old or like Bill Cosby now look GOOD on you?   Have you noticed how when you comb your hair and put on your blazer, you don’t feel like a JC penny magazine reject or a car salesman, but Ernest Hemingway?

So sit by the fire and tell your nieces and nephews about some of your adventures while you sip that glass of brandy or whittle on that piece of oak that’s going to be a knife handle, pipe, or maybe an elephant?  Because although you’ve been working on it for a month, you haven’t decided what you’re making. The result isn’t what matters, it’s the creation…

Or maybe you could tell them a story about Santa Claus, old St. Nick, who spread joy to children in need during a dark and cold time – he assures them that in this big scary world, they are not forgotten. But don’t forget to mention one thing about him: his ancient and great beard.  Do you know why that’s important? Because without it,  he’d come off as a huge pedophile.

Awwwwkwaaaard

Santa’s beard isn't just some detail to the story;  it’s crucial to his actual character, because it GIVES him character. Some man running around putting children on his lap? Sneaking into their homes for milk and cookies, a stranger giving things to your children?  It’s kind of a terrifying thought… but the beard! Oh, that great grey beard! It is what marks his mission not as a crazed afterthought or impulse of sick passion, but one of resolution, resolve, and morality. With a beard that long,  the amount of time and patience it took to grow, the careful grooming …  certainly those are signs of wisdom, signs of a lifestyle and knowledge that has sustained this man. 

What it comes down to is that a man who wears a beard wears his heart on his sleeve, and his soul on his face. You can look into it, and be sure of an extent of honesty.


  There is an ineffable trustworthiness leant by a good, purposeful, and hard-earned beard.  So take care of yourself.  Moisturize, towel dry, comb, and maybe look into a little present for your beard – some scented oil perhaps?