Greetings my stubbly brothers!
It’s the weekend in which most of us will be enjoying time with our family or friends – but don’t forget and neglect your newborn family member; it’s a poor twisted baby whose growth has already been stunted by years and years of razor attacks and thousands of amputations. Due to this it’s small and weak—it can’t fight for itself yet and needs your complete love and protection from the potential assault of the family members who “love” you. It has a sad past history, but don’t worry: your beard never left you, no matter how many times it was cut down in malice. Your beard forgives you, and has been preparing itself for its release of imprisonment; since you were 15 it has only gotten stronger and stronger, and is finally ready to display itself proudly on your visage.
It’s the weekend in which most of us will be enjoying time with our family or friends – but don’t forget and neglect your newborn family member; it’s a poor twisted baby whose growth has already been stunted by years and years of razor attacks and thousands of amputations. Due to this it’s small and weak—it can’t fight for itself yet and needs your complete love and protection from the potential assault of the family members who “love” you. It has a sad past history, but don’t worry: your beard never left you, no matter how many times it was cut down in malice. Your beard forgives you, and has been preparing itself for its release of imprisonment; since you were 15 it has only gotten stronger and stronger, and is finally ready to display itself proudly on your visage.
Eat well for it– make sure you get lots of protein and
whiskey this weekend to help your little guy grow up big and strong; you
might even get one on your chest!
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